Two years ago, on September 4th 2022, my nightmare began.

What is Stockholm Syndrome?

I had heard of it, but I never fully understood how this mental illness could distort one’s reality. This ailment forms when someone is completely at the will of their abuser. The daily agony and pain becomes a form of warped love that begs for the attention of the person harming them. It starts as a mental game. In the stories I’m about to tell I am going to speak from my perspective as I fell into the trap of a narcissist.

I was in a mental decline from partying, alcohol and drugs muddled my perspective. My guard was down just enough for him to take aim at my soft spots. He acted so interested and spoke to my insecurities like the blanket I needed as a child.

I woke up one day and my life was no longer my own.

When I was little, I never could comprehend what evil could exist in the world and then one day I met it. For these stories we’ll call him Ben. There are many reasons I arrived at this place in my life, but not once did I expect how quickly my life would turn into a complete nightmare. I share some of these stories occasionally and I’m met with various reactions of pity, sympathy, or shock. I’m thankful for those I can share these stories with that will laugh with me because quite honestly there are some moments I can hardly comprehend are real because of the complete absurdity. I have to laugh because of how terrifying it was. I am lucky to be alive and well enough to begin the painful process of recounting these memories.